COMMENTARY: Chronicling impact working moms have in credit unions & beyond
As we celebrate Mother’s Day this year, I’ve been feeling an itch to highlight what it truly means to be a working mom in this industry. It’s a very important topic that is finally starting to be recognized.
A perfect recent example of the power of a working mom is a picture that has been floating around of Ketanji Brown Jackson’s daughter proudly gazing at her mom as she worked. The picture reminded me of why I am who I am today — it started with watching my mom as she worked.
When I was 14 years old, my mom’s job had a summer program that allowed for kids my age to get a working experience under their belt. I wanted fancy clothes as I was entering high school. My mom said, “Get a summer job then, you can work at my job.” She was teaching me to earn what you want and giving me the opportunity for a very valuable experience at such a young age. It was the greatest gift I’ve ever received professionally. I didn’t know it though. I just wanted a Kobe Bryant Jersey before the first day of my freshmen year.
What I remember most about those short three months working with my mom is watching her work. My cubicle was a few feet away from her. We could see each other throughout the entire workday. She was a supervisor who many people came to for answers to questions and guidance.
My mom started out at this company as a temporary employee through a temp agency, but was quickly promoted to a permanent supervisory role because of her performance as a temp. The most valuable thing that happened for me that summer was to be able to watch her in her professional environment as a leader of teams of people. I was blessed to be able to watch how she handled certain situations and had difficult conversations with many different individuals.
My mom is an amazingly knowledgeable and brave Puerto Rican from the Bronx, N.Y. She didn’t have any college degrees or typical qualifications for a woman to be in a position of leadership at a company like this, especially in 2003. But she made it happen and I got to experience it firsthand 24/7 inside and outside of work — the life of a working single Puerto Rican mom with two teenage boys making it work.
I finished those three months attempting to mirror the work ethic of my mom for the rest of my professional career, which ultimately led to me becoming the first minority executive in the history of that very company we both worked at in the summer of 2003.
The day I was promoted, I text my mom with tears flooding down my face as I thanked her for being the reason why I am who I am today. This is what I’m reminded of when I look at the picture of Ketanji Brown Jackson and her daughter.
As an idea for Mother’s Day, I reached out to my good friend Nick Zulovich from Cherokee Media Group and presented the idea of asking three working moms who are doing amazing things in the credit union industry to try to document a random day of work and life and share the experience. I can’t thank these three amazing women enough for agreeing and taking the time to share these very vulnerable and transparent experiences.
Quiet start before busy day
Ashley Beach-Reid, who is vice president and chief operating officer, of 1st Cooperative FCU, gave an outlined documentation of a random Thursday for her starting at 5 a.m. and ending at 10 p.m.
5 a.m.: Quiet time, journaling and prayer
5:35 a.m.: YouTube workout
6:10 a.m.: Wake up my 9-year-old son. Ask if he needs help picking out his outfit today. Make sure his feet hit the floor. Take out clothes for my 4-year-old son. “Alexa, put on wake-up playlist!” Kids Bop playing throughout the second floor of the house
6:15 a.m.: Shower
6:30 a.m.: 4-year-old son comes into the bathroom protesting he can brush his OWN teeth without help.
6:35 a.m.: Brush 4-year-old son’s teeth, remind older son to put lotion on his face, grab a mask and get his snacks together.
6:40 a.m.: Remind husband that our oldest has math tutoring this evening. Remind my oldest to get his snacks together.
6:50 a.m.: Remind my sons to go to their dad to get their hair brushed. Remind my son to get his glasses that he needs to see!
7 a.m.: Pull out items for smoothie, fill up my water bottle. Alexa reminds the boys “Aiden and Isaiah, please put your shoes on!”
7:10 a.m.: Grab smoothie and snacks, help my 4-year-old with shoes. Ask my oldest if he has taken his meds, has snacks, has water in his water bottle, and can he see. (If he can’t, this is his opportunity to get his glasses.)
7:20 a.m.: Pulling out the garage.
7:25 a.m.: Ask the boys what they are grateful for this morning.
Isaiah — Family, Food, Water
Aiden — Milo (dog), food, and water
Mommy — A new day, God’s grace, and coffee
Collectively say the Lords’ Prayer.
7:45 a.m.: Pull into Aiden’s elementary school. Ask him what he will do today: “I will focus, I will listen to my teacher, I will be kind to others.” Aiden goes into school and Mommy and Isaiah are off to his school. Isaiah gets to watch YouTube kids until we get to his school
7:55 a.m.: Isaiah hands me the phone and tells me “I will listen to my teacher, I will be kind to my friends, and I will find my glasses” (He doesn’t wear glasses, but his brother has lost his so much, it is a part of his confidence statement.)
8:10 a.m.: Head into the office, wash hands, make coffee and turn the lights on in the office.
8:30 a.m.: My day has begun. The CU is open for business!
Three meetings and project tasks later, it’s time for lunch.
12 p.m.: Drink smoothie that I forgot about earlier. Video with my sister and nieces in N.Y., walk around the building for 10 minutes. Review the items I scribbled on my note pad throughout the morning to update my running “to-do” list.
To Do list:
—Check status of CECL project
—Determine how to update APRs in the LOS system
—Review next section of by-laws
—Complete items for contactless cards project
—Find supervisory committee training
—Register for Financial Strategies training
1 p.m.: Return calls from voicemails left earlier in the day.
2 p.m. Work on month-end items, complete internal audit item requests
4 p.m.: Finalize my “to-do” list for tomorrow
To-do list:
—Check status of CECL project
—Determine how to update APRs in the LOS system
—Review next section of by-laws
—Complete items for contactless cards project
—Find supervisory committee training
—Register for Financial Strategies training
—Check on my access to the cards system
—Pull lending policy and procedure to be reviewed
4:45 p.m.: Leave to pick up Isaiah (School closes at 5 p.m.) Today is my “pick-up” day. Make sure to grab a banana from work because Isaiah is always hungry at pick-up.
5:05 p.m.: Pick up Aiden from afterschool care. Prepare to answer what is for dinner. Call Husband to make sure computer is set up for tutoring at 6 p.m. Determine if dinner is thawed or if we need to order something.
5:49 p.m.: Home! Remind Aiden to get in the house and get situated for tutoring and grab a quick snack. Convince Isaiah this is the perfect time to take a bath!
6 p.m.: Bath time commences while tutoring is happening in the other room. Husband is being a superhero by picking up dinner!
7 p.m. Dinner is ready; we sit down to have dinner and family prayer. We share what we thank God for and what we need God’s help with, we highlight who we want to pray for.
7:45 p.m.: Screen time begins, I go to pay bills and work on our budget.
9 p.m.: Alexa reminds us that it is time for bed. Isaiah begins crying. Aiden shares that he doesn’t need that much sleep and should be able to stay up later. Dad reiterates, it’s bedtime. Clean up begins, groaning continues
9:30 p.m.: Boys are in bed, thanks to Dad. I warm up the clothes in the dryer so I can fold them.
9:45 p.m. Fold and put away clothes
10 p.m. Sit down with a glass of wine and hubby. Turn on Netflix (Ozark, season 4) and fall asleep within the first 15 minutes.
Describing a ‘beautiful challenge’
Anshanita Peace is program director of DEI at Westerra Credit Union. Peace journaled a random day in her life as a working mom.
So, I was asked, “How is it managing a full-time career and two small children?” I can lead with so many answers, but I will sum it up by saying it is a “beautiful challenge”
My day looks different everyday, but I will try to provide some light on an average day for me. Before we get into the day, let’s start off with an agreement to have a judgement free zone.
Prior to answering this question, I would like to give you a brief background about me.
My name is Anshanita (Nita) Peace and I am married to a wonderful man that I met when I was a teller in the drive-ups at Westerra Credit Union. He put his phone number in the teller tube in the middle lane and it has been history ever since. We have two boys, 9 years old and 2 years old.
Our world is busy to say the least. The oldest is in fourth grade and our youngest is home until starting preschool in August.
I am the program director of diversity, equity and inclusion and the work is also a beautiful challenge on a daily basis. I was previously the director of fraud and card disputes, and I transitioned to this new role October 2021.
A day in my life as a working mom must begin the night before to lay out the foundation of what to expect “ish” for the next day.
My hours are roughly 8:30 a.m. until … depending on the ETAs, project, escalations and all other issues that need immediate action. My husband’s hours are 1:30 p.m. – 10 p.m. Monday through Friday. Our work hours are somewhat beneficial as our need for childcare is part time instead of full time.
However, the challenge comes with school pick-up, daycare issues, homework etc.
The Sunday night blues, take No. 1. Christian, the 2 year old, still longs for a cup of milk to fall asleep every night and nap time. No judgment, right? It is now 2 a.m. and he is screaming his head off for another cup of milk. Sigh! This too shall pass. Is it already 5 a.m.? Well, unfortunately I haven’t been back to sleep since Christian screamed his head off for milk at 2 a.m. I’m working on this sleep thing. A tiny bit of insomnia is what I’m dealing with at the moment.
OK, we’re up off to the races. It is time to get the oldest son ready for school and needless to say “he can never hear his alarm go off,” so my husband wakes him up every day. “Mom! Dad! It only takes me 15 minutes to get ready for school so I can sleep in as late as possible,” he screams. “I’m tired of waking up so early!” Blah, blah, blah. Then me yelling, “Once again, you need a shower and you need to thoroughly brush your teeth. Do we really have to do this EVERYDAY?” Tears once again! We finally drag him to the shower and after the shower, my husband has to do an assessment EVERYDAY. Teeth check. Underarms, nope. Get back in the shower again!
In the meantime, I’m preparing breakfast & dinner, homework checks, goodbye kisses and hello to a few hundred emails. Well, at least that is what it feels like anyway. As my husband drops off the older one, I begin getting ready for the day as our 2-year-old sleeps in until around 8 a.m.
I’m grateful that I don’t have to worry about a daily commute as my company has truly embraced a hybrid work model.
Now the work fun begins! The day begins with reading and responding to emails and sorting through the week. My husband is with our 2-year-old until 1:15 p.m. and then I manage to keep him occupied with Mickey Mouse and Peanut Butter sandwiches until 2 p.m. unless I have meetings during this time. My mother-in-law may come over to help out while my husband is heading to work if I’m on meeting overload. I’m averaging 3-5 meetings per day and I usually have to break away about 2 p.m. to pick up my son from school.
At 2 p.m., we are off to the races. We are now heading to pick up my oldest from school. On the drive home, the conversation goes: “How was your day? What did you learn? How was the class and how are you currently feeling?” I take all of this in so I can gauge our dinner conversations.
Once we return home, I quickly check my emails to make sure there aren’t any fires and then I prepare sandwiches/snacks to tie them over until I get off.
It is now 3 p.m. and I have the kids settled with homework and snacks and then I rush back to work to check emails and focus on projects and other tasks. I usually don’t wrap it up until late in the evenings because I have less work interruptions in the evening.
Once I’m finished with my workday, we usually eat dinner and enjoy a family activity such as reading a book, playing cards or go outside depending on the weather. Once we finish our activity the boys are winding down for bed at 8:30pm and I will read and journal until about 11 p.m. It’s 2 a.m. and Christian cries for milk-Here we go again!
This is a day in the life for me and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to have an employer that encourages work/life balance and understands everyone’s needs are different.
I try to focus on keeping a heart full of gratitude because we have supportive friends and family and I know our situation could be very different. Another bit of advice that I often remember is to give myself some grace and give it often. It is OK if I don’t get to story time every night or I didn’t wrap up that last email before logging off. One culture tenant that we practice at my job is progression over perfection and that has become my professional and personal tenant that I hold on to tightly.
That is an average day for me and I’m honored to share because it really helped me reflect and take a pause.
I want to thank Deshaun for the opportunity and I want to recognize all of the mothers for their love and sacrifice.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Bittersweet trip on Memory Lane
Lydia Lozano, who is an account executive at CUNA Mutual Group, reflects back on what it was like to be a working mom during her career and how it shaped who she is today.
My children aren’t really children anymore. My oldest is 25, fully adulting in Los Angeles. He is, as they say, “off the payroll,” particularly now that I got the official letter from my employer that, since he will be turning 26 next month, he will be removed from my health insurance benefits. My youngest is 20 and still in school, but although he still lives at home during the summer and winter breaks, he no longer relies on mom to do much for him beyond the basics of providing food and shelter, oh, and gas money!
However, despite no longer having young children at home to get ready before heading to work, the request to share my version of “a day in the life” unexpectedly sent me on a bittersweet trip down Memory Lane.
As I prepared my email to thank Deshaun for thinking of me while explaining I no longer have those long, trying days of balancing young children and a busy career (I am, for all intents and purposes an empty nester) I found myself replaying many of the old, treasured voicemails my boys left me while I was off being a career woman. Yes, I STILL have them saved on my phone!
The oldest one is from April 2006. Most were left while I was mid-flight to client meetings in California or New Mexico or Arizona. They would call to tell me about their day or to say good morning (or good night) and tell me they loved and missed me. I have a couple lengthy ones from my youngest detailing in his raspy, asthmatic voice exactly what happened at daycare and why he got an “oops” note that day. As I listened to the little boy voices of my now grown men, I was flooded with images of those “typical” working mom days — rushing to drop off at daycare, speeding to football practice, baseball tournaments, a swim meet, or an orthodontic appointment all while trying to have an engaging and professional conference call that couldn’t wait.
Being a mom with a job outside the home comes riddled with benefits that I felt could not quite be duplicated if I would have had the ability to be a stay-at-home mom. I always knew I wanted both a career and children so the concept of staying home to raise my children was not one I truly contemplated. Beyond the obvious tangible benefits of an income, a retirement plan, and the aforementioned health insurance, having a career also gave me a sense of feeling valued for a different part of myself that did not involve motherhood.
Throughout my 23-year career, I have had many unique and fulfilling opportunities to add value to teams I work with, contributing to company objectives while building solid partnerships throughout the industry. All these things are important to those of us who work outside the home because we are sacrificing time with our children to do our jobs. I have no doubt if you were to conduct a poll asking working moms which sentiment they feel most fiercely and often while balancing life and work, I can practically guarantee the most common response will be: GUILT.
Despite the rewards of having a career and earning an income for the household, I don’t believe I ever took a business trip without the familiar ache of guilt. Guilt for missing a game, a class party, a doctor’s appointment, or a goodnight story. Ironically, even as I type this now several years removed from the madness of it, guilt overcomes me still. The guilt of those missed memories during my working mom days.
But despite the guilt, despite the late nights or extra early mornings trying to do more to miss less, there is nothing else I would rather be than a working mom.
Deshaun Sheppard is an account executive and DEI advocate with PDP Group.